Intro by Author—
I am happy to present to you the new edition of my “10 Houses of Suffering” collection, which is now the “12 Houses of Suffering.” This revision includes two extra houses!
I originally wrote these stories, some 20 years ago, as a way of introducing Buddhism to my college students. These short stories illustrate the many ways that ordinary people, living seemingly ordinary lives, make themselves suffer.
The kind of suffering illustrated here may be called mental angst—which is exactly the kind of suffering Buddha was interested in. He called it Duhkha, and it forms the foundation for the Four Noble Truths, which starts by simply saying that Life Is Suffering. Indeed.
As you will quickly see in these stories, the angst arises because of our unwillingness to come to acceptance with the inevitable twists and turns and changes of life. These people are all of us. We are them. Although we have our own unique versions of these stories… we all create our own hell within, often with just a single thought. like, “I’m not good enough.” This is the madness of the human situation, namely, the inability to accept the inevitable. And so, the pain we cause ourselves comes from persisting to look everywhere else but within, for our peace of mind.
In other words, we are waiting for the world to be the way we want it to be and for others to be the way we want them to be.
To put it differently, we get “hooked” on our own agenda. And when life doesn’t go that way, it’s hard to accept. We ache for things to be as we think they should.
The good news is, though, is that there is a way out! That’s where Buddha’s Four Noble Truths direct us. If our attachment to all the “should be’s” is at the root of the problem, then letting go… or, accepting, is our ticket to freedom.
Lead-in: Imagine a row of ten houses facing a creek. Each one is big and beautiful, except the last one – the tenth one, which is smaller and needs some fixing up.
1st House—
Inside the first house is a man who suspects his wife is sleeping with somebody else. He spends every minute of every day, in a state of paranoid suspicion. Right now, as he tries to listen to her phone conversation, he’s tiptoeing along in the corridor, hoping the floor doesn’t creek with his sneaky footsteps, giving him him away, and revealing his jealousy.
2nd House—
Inside the second house is a 25-year-old woman with an eating disorder. At least five days of every week are spent alternately binging and purging, and taking no pleasure from the compulsive acts. Her throat, her teeth, and her stomach are destroyed, and she lives with the fact that she is killing herself, and can’t stop. The other two days are spent in isolation, hunger, and vile self hatred.
3rd House—
Inside the third house is a mother too afraid to answer the phone, yet simultaneously too afraid to stray too far from the house because her son has received death threats while serving as a frontline journalist in the middle east, and news of her only son’s status might be delivered at any moment.
4th House—
Inside the fourth house is a 33-year-old aging cover model, losing jobs to 18-year-olds. She curses at her face in the mirror, and has lost her will to get out of bed in the morning. She is now 50,000 dollars in debt from lost pay, yet just accepted one more credit card offer to schedule plastic surgery on her neck and eyes, in the hope that it will restore her youthful appearance, and make her love herself again.
5th House—
Inside the fifth house is a meth addict. He is missing out on his children’s young years, but he can’t stop. Making it worse, is his wife, who calls him a loser, taunting him daily for his weakness. Every time he tries to give it up for good, he ends up giving in to the urge to light up again, even though he knows it is only a temporary thrill. It’s gotten to the point where he stands to lose his job, his wife, and the house. He no longer enjoys being straight because of the agonizing shame that eats him alive.
6th House—
Inside the sixth house is a 60-year-old woman who has just been diagnosed with incurable cancer. She knows her body will soon start to break down, and that she will have to face her death. She will have to come to grips with the fact that she will never see her grandchildren, or her husband, or her dogs, again.
7th House—
Inside the seventh house is an 85-year-old woman who lost her husband five years ago. Having lost her will to live, she lies in bed all day long, surrounded by the dusty antique knick-knacks she spent her life collecting. Her social security checks go entirely to the caretakers, who are paid to help her with housekeeping and other daily chores. She refuses to leave her home and she also refuses go to an elderly home, where she might take part in various activities, like swimming, painting or Tai Chi.
8th House—
Inside the eighth house is a 19-year-old boy with agoraphobia. Stepping outside the house is like hanging off a bridge, with sweaty fingers slipping, and no one there to catch you. So, instead of venturing outside, he takes his Xanax, and sits in front of his computer, wearing the mask of his artificial identity… chatting in forums, acting witty and sarcastic on screen, but hating himself all the while because he’s lonely and bored, and it never goes away.
9th House—
Inside the ninth house is a 30-year-old ambitious office worker, who just missed out on a promotion due to the fact that his scheming, and overly ambitious female colleague in the next cubicle, claimed his idea as her own, taking all the credit and accolades. He takes his seething hatred out on other women, in the form of abusive relationships that leave him feeling more empty and worthless, rather than potent, and valued.
10th House—
Inside the tenth house – the smallest house on the block – is a newlywed couple who bought this fixer-upper because it was the only house they could afford, given their loan qualifications. Because their house is at the end of the street, they are forced to drive past the other more glorious houses every day, as they go about their business. He imagines his neighbors’ luxurious lives, and all the pricey tools he must have; and she is filled with increasing bitterness toward him, for promising a new kitchen, a jacuzzi, and renovated bathrooms that she can decorate in coordinated colors, like in the magazines. Yet the months go by, and still her husband has done nothing to improve their house. Their relationship is quickly turning bitter.
11th House—
Inside the eleventh house is a thirty-something actress who won the academy award for best supporting actress two years ago. Despite the attention that followed that movie, she hasn’t gotten any exemplary roles since then and feels angry and rejected. The worst part of it is that her jealousy toward other upcoming actors and actresses is all-consuming, to the point where she is incapable of feeling happy for anyone else. She feels insecure and inferior to others, who she imagines must be much better than she is. Because of this bitterness, and because she talks bad about her peers, no one can stand being around her.
12th House—
Inside the twelfth house is a man whose son is gay. He had hopes that his son would follow in his own footsteps and become a football star. He also envisioned his boy as a ladies’ man, who would eventually settle down with a gorgeous wife, and kids, as he had done. He used to tell him to “play the field” and now feels disgusted when he sees his son with his boyfriend. He also can’t stand that his son is an interior designer, a profession he says is a “woman’s job.” He refuses to sit with them when they come to visit, and quickly disappears into the other room to watch sports when they come… leaving his wife, who is more tolerant, to do the hosting.
I would love to know how you are using this article as an introduction to Buddhism!
Yours Truly,
~Donna Quesada
Donna Quesada Schollhammer 