In Psychology—
How you think about the question of the ego depends on the context. For example, within the framework of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud described the Ego as part of the mind’s three-part structure, which also includes the Id and the Superego.
In this model, the Id is the part of the mind that governs our instinctual impulses, such as the most basic urges for pleasure and sensual gratification. It is the most primitive part of us and is activated immediately upon birth. It is totally unconscious and revolves around the most basic needs, such as a baby crying for milk.
The Superego is the source of authority, discipline, and control. It is the internalized pool of laws, moral imperatives and rules, accumulated from family and society. It is sometimes called our “conscience.”
If the Id is our inner Veruca Salt, screaming “I want it now,” then the Superego is the prototypical, authoritarian Catholic school nun, with a ruler in her hand.
The Ego, for Freud, developed from the Id, as the arbitrator between the childish demands of the Id and the unyielding restrictions of the Superego. It is the voice of reason. The idea is that, as we mature, we learn how to control our impulses, and behave politely, rather than just cry for food. But with a healthy Ego moderating between the two, we still have room for healthy and appropriate pleasures.
In Everyday Language—
In colloquial speech, people rarely reference Freud’s notions of the Id, or the Superego. But the word Ego itself, is used all the time. It is usually used in a different way, though. Rather than referencing the ego as our inner arbiter, it is typically used to describe someone’s pride.
We say things like “He is so egotistical… always boasting about himself,” and so forth.
“Ego” used in this way, stands in contrast to the notion of humility.
In Spirituality—
In spiritual contexts, the ego is often described as our sense of personal identity—it is the story we tell ourselves about who we are, for example, “I am a giving and generous person,” or, “I am a sensitive person.”
It sounds innocent and harmless enough, but in many spiritual traditions, the ego is seen as something that limits our awareness and by extension, our spiritual development because it separates “me” from “everything else,” when we’re supposed to be embracing oneness.
Buddhism is highly developed in this regard, and treats the ego as an illusion created by the mind. Not only is it an impediment to our advancement on the spiritual path, but it’s not even real! The ego is just the mental habit of identifying with the idea of a “fixed self,” thus creating a sense of a “me” that is separate from the world.
In Buddhism, there is no “me” that is separate from the world. In fact, in a sense, there is no “me” at all!
That sense of self that we are so attached to is really just a marriage of fleeting phenomena, both physical and mental, which Buddha called “Skandhas,” and which is basically just all the things we feel and sense in the world. Because we’re alive and we have a body with senses, we’re constantly sensing things, like colors, temperature, sounds and smells. And from these perceptions, we go on to form beliefs and opinions about it all.
But, upon further investigation—and this is where mindfulness practice comes in—we see that none of it is permanent. It all arises and then falls away. And we do, too. Nothing we witness is fixed. Yet we cling to it all, as if it was.
We especially cling to ourselves, and this is the source of our suffering, since now we have so much to defend and protect… our needs, our reputation, our position, our honor, our appearance, our status, our possessions, our correctness, our image, our youth… as if we were immortal. And on, and on…
But, there are no “things” or “selves”… Just processes. Or said differently, just the act of “processing.”
So, in summary, in Buddhism, the “ego” is just the illusion of a fixed, independent “me.”
With this said, what is left to protect? We can sigh a huge sigh of relief as we begin to let go.
That’s all enlightenment is… we can just “be” without the constant need to defend, enhance or protect our image.
My Own Take On the Ego—
Similar to the basic spiritual sense of ego as a sense of self-identity, I see ego in three layers. The first is benign, the second two layers are where ego becomes inflated and somewhat damaged by degree.
In the first layer, I see ego as self-awareness. It comes with being an advanced sentient being. Since it comes as “part of the deal,” with our aliveness, it’s beside the point to ask what we need it for… It simply is. Being a person comes with self-awareness.
But… As soon as we have self-awareness, we begin to have self-consciousness. And as soon as we have self-consciousness, we become aware of how people respond to us. We begin to crave approval.
This is where the second layer of ego develops—It is the craving of approval and all the ways this makes life more difficult than it has to be. With the craving of approval, comes its opposite… the fear of disapproval… the fear of judgment, and rejection. Now we have the birth of insecurity and damaged self-confidence.
We also have the appearance of shyness, which is also ego… it’s just the other side of it. It’s the side of ego that fears rejection so much, that it becomes dysfunctional to the point of paralysis.
Finally, in the third layer of ego, we have ego’s broken manifestation. We play it off as arrogance or just a “fragile” ego… but in this third facet, ego becomes insatiable. It needs to impress all the time, it needs constant reassurance and recognition. Its need to distinguish itself from others is voracious.
Narcissism is the final corrupted stage of this third layer—Extreme vanity and narcissism. For the narcissistic ego, the unarticulated axiom at work is SELF, at the expensive of others.
I have read that clinical narcissism is not truly fixable, though I do think mild versions of it can be modified with conscious and mindful recognition of it, in conjunction with the will to correct it.
But we live in a culture that seems to encourage narcissistic behavior. This is not necessarily “clinical” narcissism, and can certainly be mitigated.
What would this look like? It would look like awareness without any sense of being better than. It would look like inclusiveness. In other words, there’s room enough for everyone to succeed. It would show up as a mentality of abundance, rather than lack. Love rather than fear. Sharing rather than greed. And always with a sense of being interconnected with all.
Short Summary—
Psychology: Ego appears as the rational self.
Common use: Ego appears as pride and self-importance.
Spiritual view: Ego appears as the constructed, but false sense of “Self.”
My Spin: Ego appears as a three tiered variation of self-awareness, ranging from benign to corrupt.
Donna Quesada Schollhammer 